""Are you there, Satan? It's me, Madison," declares the whip-tongues thirteen-year-old narrator of Damned, Chuck Palahniuk's subversive new work of fiction. The daughter of a narcissistic film star and a billionaire Madison is abandoned at her Swiss boarding school over Christmas while her parents are off touting their new projects and adopting more orphans. She dies over the holiday of a marijuana overdose-and the next thing she knows, she's in Hell. Madison shares her cell with a motley crew of young sinners that is almost too good to be true: a cheerleader, a jock, a nerd, and a punk rocker, united by fate to form the six-feet-under version of everyone's favorite detention movie. Madison and her pals must trek across the Dandruff Desert and cross the Valley of Used Disposable Diapers to confront Satan in his citadel, and all the popcorn balls and wax lips that serve as currency of Hell won't buy them off.
This is the afterlife as only Chuck Palahniuk could imagine it: a twisted inferno where The English Patient plays on endless repeat, roaming demons interrupt your dinner from their sweltering call center to hard-sell you Hell. . . He makes torment, well, simply divine."
I thought the premise was hilarious! Damned is Palahniuk's version of The Breakfast Club (1985), I read that and I died of laughter.
For some reason I had this thought that I'd never read or seen a story quite like Damned. I think this thought came because I'd never read or seen a story quite like Damned by Chuck Palahniuk. The main character is a thirteen year old girl. In the majority of Palahniuk novels, the narrator as a male in his late twenties/thirties; with the exception of a couple of his novels (Tell-All and Diary) whose narrators are women. My point is that the narrator of Damned is so far from Palahniuk's norm I was way beyond impressed and definitely considered this to be the twist in Damned. Damned is definitely a story I've read before, but I've never seen it done like this.
I read Damned as Madison writing a letter to Satan. For what reason, I'm not too sure; maybe praise and admiration about Hell or praise and admiration for him. I also felt that she felt that she needed to prove something to Satan. She would follow up some of her sentences with a sentence stating that she was thirteen and dead, not thirteen and brain dead. I thought that was accurate for a thirteen year girl like Madison because of what her parents were like. Madison was the opposite of most thirteen year old girls. They're always trying to impress someone and grown up way too fast, but Madison had already grown up because of her parents. Her (prematurely ended) childhood caused Maddy to be way wise beyond her years. It's as if she knew she was going to die young and was instilled with all this knowledge. Contrary, I also think she's very eager to grow up and prove to Satan that she's mature. Not to mention, she's also a thirteen year old girl in the traditional sense and wants to appear mature to the older cute boys with her in Hell.
Maddy's outlook on life is hilarious. The way she describes past events and her life or death (pun) in Hell is simply magnificent. My humor and Maddy's are very similar. I suppose I'm saying I have the humor of a thirteen year old girl or of a forty-something year old man; either one is true. My favorite scene was when Maddy's parents try to give her "The Talk" (about sex) and they end up showing her a porn video, was priceless. Madison obviously knew about the Birds and the Bees already and her critique of the video was much appreciated and hilarious to me as a film student. Madison's puns were also quite witty. For example My So-Called Life would be My So-Called Death in Hell because you're dead. Any expression that had 'life' in it would be changed to 'death'. Very clever, Palahniuk, if I do day so myself.
Although I consider the fact that the narrator is a thirteen year old girl the twist in Damned, the real twist is a zinger. No spoilers, but if you pay close attention to Madison's protests throughout, your jaw will drop. Her protests for example when she says things like I'm thirteen and dead not thirteen and brain dead.
I'm not dying to see Damned turned into a film as much as I am with Survivor or Lullaby. I don't think the filmmakers could recreate Hell as excellent as Palahniuk describes it. The screenwriter could adapt it the same way as Palahniuk, but that doesn't mean the director or set designer will interpret it the same way. From experience I know detailed landscapes as Palahniuk has described Hell usually end up with actors in front of a green screen and the quality of the film just immediately goes down ten fold. Case in point Alice in Wonderland (2010). More recently Oz the Great and Powerful (2013), even though it hasn't been released yet.
Damned by Chuck Palahniuk is a must read!
BTW:
Maddy's outlook on life is hilarious. The way she describes past events and her life or death (pun) in Hell is simply magnificent. My humor and Maddy's are very similar. I suppose I'm saying I have the humor of a thirteen year old girl or of a forty-something year old man; either one is true. My favorite scene was when Maddy's parents try to give her "The Talk" (about sex) and they end up showing her a porn video, was priceless. Madison obviously knew about the Birds and the Bees already and her critique of the video was much appreciated and hilarious to me as a film student. Madison's puns were also quite witty. For example My So-Called Life would be My So-Called Death in Hell because you're dead. Any expression that had 'life' in it would be changed to 'death'. Very clever, Palahniuk, if I do day so myself.
Although I consider the fact that the narrator is a thirteen year old girl the twist in Damned, the real twist is a zinger. No spoilers, but if you pay close attention to Madison's protests throughout, your jaw will drop. Her protests for example when she says things like I'm thirteen and dead not thirteen and brain dead.
I learned some new words while reading Damned. Some I realized I knew when I looked up the definition, but just didn't know the spelling and some I never knew, but now I hear them everywhere. Most notably being somnambulist. Somnambulist means someone who engages in sleepwalking. I first saw this word while watching Angel (1999-2004); it's the title of episode eleven in season one. I didn't think to look it up then, but later I saw it in Damned and off went the lightbulb.
I'm not dying to see Damned turned into a film as much as I am with Survivor or Lullaby. I don't think the filmmakers could recreate Hell as excellent as Palahniuk describes it. The screenwriter could adapt it the same way as Palahniuk, but that doesn't mean the director or set designer will interpret it the same way. From experience I know detailed landscapes as Palahniuk has described Hell usually end up with actors in front of a green screen and the quality of the film just immediately goes down ten fold. Case in point Alice in Wonderland (2010). More recently Oz the Great and Powerful (2013), even though it hasn't been released yet.
Damned by Chuck Palahniuk is a must read!
My favorite quote had to be:
"I can't believe there's no wifi in Hell…." -Babette
That quote pretty much sums up my generation. I'll be quoting Babette when I'm in Hell, clutching my iPhone 87 and desperately trying to find a wifi signal.
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